End of the Adventures (for now)

I'm sitting in my bedroom on the other side - which looks a huge mess, a mix between unpacking, rearranging furniture and my continual purging of stuff - and I thought that I would take a break from my tidying to give "voice" to my thoughts.

A week ago I was on my way back from Botswana, and I've been in the states for seven days now. It's been interesting. In some ways I've had no trouble adjusting at all - such as my miraculous recovery from the time change. In other ways I don't understand why I am agitated or uncomfortable or wary of or by things that I never used to notice before. The initial English-speaking shock was overcome after just a couple days. I can now greet people in English on cue, as my Setswana use fades from the forefront of my tongue. But other things, like the vast majority of white people in my neighborhood, my church, the places I get my groceries - these are more difficult to get over. The fact of the matter is that white people were not to be trusted in Bots - they were often rude, snotty, unhelpful, and racist. So try going from five months of mistrusting white people and surrounding yourself with black people to being surrounded by only the former and having the latter on the periphery. It makes you rather uncomfortable, to say the least. But I'm working through it. And on the flip side, I'm seeing a lot of people that I didn't before, and in a different light, which is a good thing.

In general, I would say that coming back hasn't been too terribly rough. Yes, it freaks me out that we leave food out on the counter or the table, but since it's always fine and ant-free when we get back to it, I suppose that's okay. Yes, I've been overwhelmed by all the questions people have to ask me, but some people ask good questions that give me the opportunity to tell stories, and that makes me feel good inside to share my experiences with others. Although it hurts when they're judgemental or jump to conclusions about things, I have to recognize that not everyone can understand. No one I know this side has soaked up the culture that side so much as I did, so how could they understand everything?

To sum it all up: I'm doing well. My mom pointed out that I learned to stand up straight (finally) while I was over there, and the confidence and carriage I have as I go about my life these days has everyone giving me compliments. And I do feel different. Something has changed. I can't quite put my finger on what, just yet, but there is something new there that's busy flourishing right now. I'm looking forward to driving up to the U.P. this summer for work and having lots of time up in nature to unpack my last year - everything that has happened to me at home and abroad - and see where I am and I'm going from here. I want to prep myself to face my last semester of college. With great poise.

Thank you all for reading my blog - whether in public or in secret. I'm finding as I go around that there were more of you than I realized! Don't delete this one from your favorites just yet - after next semester there might just be more adventures in store and I may pick this one up again. So I would recommend checking it again around October or something... just to see. ;) Until then, ke a lebogile - for your support, for your prayers, and for your interest in my crazy, adventuresome life. I hope you've been entertained.

Best regards,

Jaclynn Botshelo Workman

Let the journey begin:

Alright, so perhaps this is a little bit preemptive, but I'm figuring that I won't be wasting much time on the computer tomorrow. I'm thinking I'll be out and around, taking pictures and saying more goodbyes.

Tomorrow I start the journey home with a shared cab ride with Kelsey to the airport. My first flight leaves at 4:50pm for Jo'berg, then later that day for London, where I'll arrive at 6am and then make my way over to my last flight to arrive in Chicago at 12:50pm. It's going to be a long couple days, but I'm well-stocked with chamomile tea and ibuprofen to keep me sleepy on the plane. :) I'm spending a couple days in Chicago, taking care of some business and meeting with some professors, and then I'll be taking the train home on Friday, when I'll finally get to see my family again - all of them, because my sister and her family moved to Michigan while I was gone - for the first time in 5 months.

Am I excited? Yes. Am I sad to leave? Yes.

Expect a highly reflective, nostalgic, concluding post when I get to the other side.

International: defined

I'm in between exams on my last day of exams, and the internet is finally working in my room again. How convenient. But even though I'm left with just one more exam and four days of chill before I leave Bots, I'm still learning new things.

Take yesterday for instance.

I stopped by the SRC offices the other day, as I so often do, and was invited to attend a meeting between the SRC and international students. One of the mainstays of the platform of the new SRC was that they wanted to create representation for international students - and eventually a cabinet position for an international student representative - so that their voice could be heard as well. Nobly, I had Kourtney create a facebook event and tried to get the word out to other international students, but I had little hope that anyone else would come. As expected, when 2 o'clock came around I found myself the only non-SRC person in the office. But then people started coming in. They weren't the "study abroad" international students I knew or expected. Not a single one of them hailed from Japan, Germany, or the United States. They were Africans. In that room we had representatives of Uganda, Madagascar, Nigeria, Zambia, Zimbabwe, DR Congo, and many more. I was astonished. I had never really thought about it before, but my definition of "what makes an international student" was anyone who wasn't an African. And that was exactly the complaint that these students had to lodge against the University.

"We're not treated like normal students, but our specific needs as international students aren't recognized either."

They discussed the large fee they are charged on an annual basis just to study here as internationals - a fee that is supposed to pay for the services they receive: help with immigration and residence permits, pick-ups from the airport, etc. Services that they have never seen, but which were given to all of us coming in through ISEP, ACM and other programs. Furthermore, many of the international students had been DENIED accommodation in the recent listing for next year. Where is an international student supposed to stay? They don't have relatives, they already have to pay a lot to get to UB, and they don't receive a government allowance or any other sort of income while they're studying like national students do. And don't forget that rent in Gabs is out-of-this-world expensive. As a student on the ISEP program, and the other largely-western exchange programs UB has agreements with, I was guaranteed accommodation. UB keeps expanding how many students they are accepting through these programs, and it is at the expense of true, long-term international students who need accommodation.

Needless to say, it was a very educational experience for me, and I left with a lot more questions in my mind than when I came. I wish I had met these international students sooner, and had this new mindset sooner, so that I could get to know them and understand their lives and struggles as the real international students of UB - the ones who are studying here for four years and actually doing it for the education instead of the experience. If you're studying abroad, or going to study abroad soon, think about this and realize how much of a tourist you are, for however much you try not to be.

The main difference between the study abroad student and the average tourist is that we just happen to stick around longer.

One more week!

Exams have been going on for a week now, but mine start today with Setswana. Tomorrow I'll be writing my Afro-Caribbean Lit exam, Thursday I'll have off, then Friday I'll be writing my two hardest exams: History in the morning, and Principles of Ecology in the afternoon. And then I'll be done!

My last four/five days will look something like this:

Friday night - Saturday morning: plait hair

Saturday late morning/early afternoon: learn to make phaphata

Sunday morning: go to Setswana mass for the last time

Sunday night: skype my parents for the last time

Monday: do any and all remaining laundry

Tuesday: pack up and fly out!

It's crazy to think that I'm in my final week now. That 168 hours from now I'll be pulling things off my shelves and packing my suitcase, running around trying to find phaphata to buy to keep me nourished during travel, and saying my farewells.

This past week has been good, but not too terribly exciting. My days are spent mostly reading over notes and researching for my history exam. Although I did manage to get out to the Station to buy trinket gifts for my friends, and to Main Mall to spend every last pula I hadn't set aside for food on souvenirs that I've waited to buy until just now. It was a very successful shopping trip, let me assure you. I have officially finished all of my Christmas shopping for the year, save for one little thing that I'm planning on picking up Stateside.

So now I'm broke, and this week I'm living off phaphata and the remaining fruit left in my room. I've rationed everything out so that it'll last me 'til I leave. Pretty much, I'll be staying put this week: studying, taking exams, and possibly going out on a couple free excursions like the Ecological Park or a revisiting of the National Museum. But nothing too terribly exciting, just chilling and watching the days go by. I run into my local friends every now and then, and they ask me when I'm leaving and whatnot, but most people aren't out and about - they're hunkering down in exam mode. Still, I'm hoping I'll meet up with some friends and hang out again at least once more before I leave - probably over the weekend. We'll see.

For now, I think I ought to get going. I've got some snacking to do, and I ought to get reading on my Setswana notes and vocabulary and whatnot so I'm extra prepared when I go in to take the exam. Although at this point, I figure I either know it or I don't....

Go siame,

~Botshelo