End of the Adventures (for now)

I'm sitting in my bedroom on the other side - which looks a huge mess, a mix between unpacking, rearranging furniture and my continual purging of stuff - and I thought that I would take a break from my tidying to give "voice" to my thoughts.

A week ago I was on my way back from Botswana, and I've been in the states for seven days now. It's been interesting. In some ways I've had no trouble adjusting at all - such as my miraculous recovery from the time change. In other ways I don't understand why I am agitated or uncomfortable or wary of or by things that I never used to notice before. The initial English-speaking shock was overcome after just a couple days. I can now greet people in English on cue, as my Setswana use fades from the forefront of my tongue. But other things, like the vast majority of white people in my neighborhood, my church, the places I get my groceries - these are more difficult to get over. The fact of the matter is that white people were not to be trusted in Bots - they were often rude, snotty, unhelpful, and racist. So try going from five months of mistrusting white people and surrounding yourself with black people to being surrounded by only the former and having the latter on the periphery. It makes you rather uncomfortable, to say the least. But I'm working through it. And on the flip side, I'm seeing a lot of people that I didn't before, and in a different light, which is a good thing.

In general, I would say that coming back hasn't been too terribly rough. Yes, it freaks me out that we leave food out on the counter or the table, but since it's always fine and ant-free when we get back to it, I suppose that's okay. Yes, I've been overwhelmed by all the questions people have to ask me, but some people ask good questions that give me the opportunity to tell stories, and that makes me feel good inside to share my experiences with others. Although it hurts when they're judgemental or jump to conclusions about things, I have to recognize that not everyone can understand. No one I know this side has soaked up the culture that side so much as I did, so how could they understand everything?

To sum it all up: I'm doing well. My mom pointed out that I learned to stand up straight (finally) while I was over there, and the confidence and carriage I have as I go about my life these days has everyone giving me compliments. And I do feel different. Something has changed. I can't quite put my finger on what, just yet, but there is something new there that's busy flourishing right now. I'm looking forward to driving up to the U.P. this summer for work and having lots of time up in nature to unpack my last year - everything that has happened to me at home and abroad - and see where I am and I'm going from here. I want to prep myself to face my last semester of college. With great poise.

Thank you all for reading my blog - whether in public or in secret. I'm finding as I go around that there were more of you than I realized! Don't delete this one from your favorites just yet - after next semester there might just be more adventures in store and I may pick this one up again. So I would recommend checking it again around October or something... just to see. ;) Until then, ke a lebogile - for your support, for your prayers, and for your interest in my crazy, adventuresome life. I hope you've been entertained.

Best regards,

Jaclynn Botshelo Workman